You people have to see this. Urgently.
*doubleleaf is a rare kind of deviant, in that the work that she produces is consistently AMAZING.
Without doubt.
Snake's Yogurt Night by *doubleleaf on deviantART
This is the first deviation of hers that I saw (and, in a rather pervy MGS-nerd way, adored), which led me to her Yoghurt Nights series.
Honestly, she has the best male characters from pretty much the best games known to fangirl-kind:
Prince of Persia, Assassin's Creed, the afore-mentioned Metal Gear Solid.
And they're all half-naked.
And smeared in yoghurt.
With pink spoons.
The best way to describe it would probably be 'phallic imagery overload'.
Prince Dastan's Yogurt Night by *doubleleaf on deviantART
Ezio's Yogurt Night by *doubleleaf on deviantART
Not only this guys, but look further into the depths of her vast gallery, and she has Ghost in the Shell, Splinter Cell, Final Fantasy, Star Wars, more MGS...tons of Assassin's Creed...
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Looking through it on slideshow actually makes you squeal out loud with joy at the computer screen.
Raiden by *doubleleaf on deviantART
Let's end on some more MGS.
Happy February! Don't forget to go check *doubleleaf's gallery. Now.
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Monday 10 January 2011
Dear Dot. 4.
Eighty-four-year-old Dorothy Peakins has a Master's degree in Tetris and has wrestled a giant aardavark. And won. Or so she claims. Actually, she does have that snout-shaped scar on her back...and the aardavark's face on her bedroom wall...
Anyway, she's gonna solve your problems and shit now.
Dear Dot,
Does the one time still apply when it's twice?
From Bill in Finance.
Well, 'Bill in Finance'. It isn't exactly customary for people to willingly reveal their names to me in their little messages...but I like your style. You've got class luv, not to mention guts.
Anyhow, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by your problem, so I'll give you a few options.
If you're on about sex, then no, you had sex twice- not once, twice- and now you're twice as likely to have contracted a venereal disease. Live with it.
If you're talking about sexual encounters with your boss' wife, then no- it doesn't make much difference whether it was once or twice, if he finds out then you're stilled fucked. Therefore I encourage you to seduce her again and again and again- as many times as you can! This could bloom into a fully-fledged affair! Proper life experience, that is.
If you meant anything else, then I can't be fucking arsed to think up any more replies. Goodnight.
Dear Dot,
How can we get all these here foreigners stealing English jobs out of OUR country? It's bloody annoying.
What do you think this is, a Daily Mail column? You might not know this mate, but I'm not English. Sure, I was brought up in Yorkshire, but I wasn't born there. No, sir. I was born in Moscow. To Russian parents. You hear that? I'm RUSSIAN!
Back in the 1920's, I was known as Dorofeia Georgiyevna Raskov- how much more bloody 'foreign' could you get? Of course, after my parents fled the Communist uprising, that got changed to Dorothy to help me assimilate into British culture, and Peakins was my third...or fourth husband, God rest his soul.
So piss off, you racist bastard. My left arse cheek has probably done more for this country in the past fortnight than you've achieved in your whole life.
Dear Dot,
I wrote to you a while back about my enormous feet and how they were ruining my life.
Well, I'm pleased to tell you that I've turned all of that around! I got a job as a clown (at your suggestion), which provided a route into stand-up comedy for me. Now, I get paid thousands just to stand around and talk to drunkards! What more could I want in life?
Oh yes, my problem.
Where should I put that new flat-screen TV that I just bought? Above the hearth or the snooker table? I had it on the floor, but kept spilling 50-year-old malt liquor and Playboy bunnies on it.
Shove it up your arse.
And learn a bit of modesty, kid.
Sorry, I'll calm down. That BNP bloke's got me all riled up.
Phew.
...
Shove it up your arse.
Dear Dot,
My mates are all pricks. What should I do?
Well, that depends on what kind of pricks they are. Are they popular pricks? If so, suck up to them and become a 'best mate' to all of them. Seriously- they'll take you to parties, raves, riots, maybe even (if they're posh) hunting trips, where you might be able to snag a deer. Or a farmer. Eventually, when they dump you in the gutter after someone even more subservient comes along, firebomb their houses.
If they're unpopular pricks, chances are that you'll love them for who they are inside or whatever, so there ain't much point me saying anything much, because you wouldn't be asking what to do with them.
You know that already.
Run like the wind.
OMG every FUCKING time I play FUCKING Space Invaders I can't get the LAST FUCKING SHIP!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!
Shoot where it's going to be, rather than where it is.
Sorry for being rather terse today kids- the expletives-to-normal-words ratio in that blog there was shocking even for me. I've had some bad news though.
Ruined Christmas for me, it did.
...
Georgie's alive.
If you have a problem, write to your dear old Grandma Dot for helpful hints and advice at mailto:the-fez@live.co.uk
Anyway, she's gonna solve your problems and shit now.
Dear Dot,
Does the one time still apply when it's twice?
From Bill in Finance.
Well, 'Bill in Finance'. It isn't exactly customary for people to willingly reveal their names to me in their little messages...but I like your style. You've got class luv, not to mention guts.
Anyhow, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by your problem, so I'll give you a few options.
 |
| As we speak, this little bitch could be living in your pubes. |
If you're talking about sexual encounters with your boss' wife, then no- it doesn't make much difference whether it was once or twice, if he finds out then you're stilled fucked. Therefore I encourage you to seduce her again and again and again- as many times as you can! This could bloom into a fully-fledged affair! Proper life experience, that is.
If you meant anything else, then I can't be fucking arsed to think up any more replies. Goodnight.
Dear Dot,
How can we get all these here foreigners stealing English jobs out of OUR country? It's bloody annoying.
What do you think this is, a Daily Mail column? You might not know this mate, but I'm not English. Sure, I was brought up in Yorkshire, but I wasn't born there. No, sir. I was born in Moscow. To Russian parents. You hear that? I'm RUSSIAN!
Back in the 1920's, I was known as Dorofeia Georgiyevna Raskov- how much more bloody 'foreign' could you get? Of course, after my parents fled the Communist uprising, that got changed to Dorothy to help me assimilate into British culture, and Peakins was my third...or fourth husband, God rest his soul.
So piss off, you racist bastard. My left arse cheek has probably done more for this country in the past fortnight than you've achieved in your whole life.
Dear Dot,
I wrote to you a while back about my enormous feet and how they were ruining my life.
 |
| Is this what it looks like? Lucky bastard. |
Oh yes, my problem.
Where should I put that new flat-screen TV that I just bought? Above the hearth or the snooker table? I had it on the floor, but kept spilling 50-year-old malt liquor and Playboy bunnies on it.
Shove it up your arse.
And learn a bit of modesty, kid.
Sorry, I'll calm down. That BNP bloke's got me all riled up.
Phew.
...
Shove it up your arse.
Dear Dot,
My mates are all pricks. What should I do?
Well, that depends on what kind of pricks they are. Are they popular pricks? If so, suck up to them and become a 'best mate' to all of them. Seriously- they'll take you to parties, raves, riots, maybe even (if they're posh) hunting trips, where you might be able to snag a deer. Or a farmer. Eventually, when they dump you in the gutter after someone even more subservient comes along, firebomb their houses.
If they're unpopular pricks, chances are that you'll love them for who they are inside or whatever, so there ain't much point me saying anything much, because you wouldn't be asking what to do with them.
You know that already.
Run like the wind.Dear Dot,
Shoot where it's going to be, rather than where it is.
Sorry for being rather terse today kids- the expletives-to-normal-words ratio in that blog there was shocking even for me. I've had some bad news though.
Ruined Christmas for me, it did.
...
Georgie's alive.
If you have a problem, write to your dear old Grandma Dot for helpful hints and advice at mailto:the-fez@live.co.uk
Label the subject "Dear Dot". Please note that the opinions expressed by the writer do not represent the views of 'The Fez'.
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